By Tom Reilly, author How To Sell And Manage In Tough Times And Tough Markets

Years ago, I spoke to a group of cancer survivors. I shared my experiences with thyroid cancer in 1980. I related different phases I went through, most predictably the "Why me?" phase. At the end of my talk, one of the survivors asked me, "Did you ever think to ask yourself ‘Why not
me?'" I admit I was a little embarrassed by her sobering question.

It never occurred to me to ask that question. This was a eureka moment. I discovered life is neither fair nor unfair; it's simply life. Life happens-an incredibly liberating insight! I no longer expected fairness, just life. I found the "Why not me?" question had application in good times and bad times.

In tough times, "Why me?" assumes I should be exempt from the pain everyone else feels. Why me, indeed? "Why not me" is humbling and appropriate. "Why not me" introduces us to the reality that life happens to everyone-a wonderful discovery. "Why not me" grounds us.

When things are going well for you while going poorly for those around you, there is a human tendency to feel more than simple empathy for them. This may degenerate into full-fledged guilt. Psychologists explain this with the sense-of-fairness principle-the belief that life should be fair-we all carry around with us. We typically experience this when things are going so well in our lives we just know the other shoe is about to drop. We are nervous about our good fortune.

In tough times, many people are hurting-peers, customers, suppliers, neighbors and family members. If you're doing well in tough times, be grateful for your success. It's a blessing, not a curse. If you choose to feel guilty, that's a negative emotion which can lead to self-defeating behavior. Gratitude for your blessings is a positive emotion and generally encourages you to share your blessings with others-positive behavior.

Ask yourself, "Why not me?" when it comes to success and good fortune. If you have worked hard, prepared, paid the price and it's your time to win, why not you?

Check out Selling in Tough Times CD: www.TomReillyTraining.com